So, why am I all bruised yet happy?? Let's look at the possible reasons shall we;
1. My boyfriend has turned into an abusive ass and for some reason I like the pain.
2. I got hurt while robbing a bank but the bruises are worth it as I'm now filthy rich.
3. I'm performing a lot of crazy stunt moves in the next Blockbuster film with Johnny Depp and am therefore looking forward to all the fame coming my way.
4. I have gotten myself addicted to pole dancing.
....???
Well luckily it's not number 1 as abusive boyfriends make my blood boil. Although, after having seen one of my family members been through this first hand despite her being a really strong person has shown me that no one is immune to this crap. Still, my boyfriend is far too amazing to ever hurt me so this option is not possible.
Option number 2 is just plain silly. I would never get away with it so instead of being filthy rich, I'd have to spend my time as someone's new favourite prison bitch. Let's scrap this option off the list.
3...yeah, I'd get famous and invited to all the crazy Hollywood shindigs but happy?? How many Hollywood celebs actually seem that happy? I'd end up shaving my hair, beating up the paparazzi with my umbrella, feature in my home made sex tape and end up making a fool out of myself in yet another MTV show where I show my vajay every chance I get.
So, I guess that leave us with number 4. Yep, I'm addicted to pole dancing.
Anyway, I've been doing one class a week for almost 8 weeks now and I'm already hooked. I can see my muscles getting more defined and I'm getting slimmer but more importantly, I'm getting so much stronger. In my first lesson we were supposed to just grip the pole both hands and lift our legs off the floor so we're just holding our body up with our arms. I slid down in one second and it didn't matter what I did, I just could not hold myself up, it was pathetic. Now, I'm climbing the pole, gripping with both hands and swinging my legs forwards and backwards as a warm up no problem and I've even started working on the upside down stuff! Seeing the progress is amazing and it's so much fun!!
The one downside is as the title says, I'm getting bruises absolutely everywhere. Good thing it's not bikini season, otherwise people would think boyfriend actually does beat me up! But, the bruises are a small price to pay and I usually get them when I'm trying to learn a move and doing it wrong over and over again so the better I get, hopefully the lesser bruises I'll get. I'm even going to up it to 2 lessons a week with my second one tonight just because of the withdrawal I'm getting from just going Wednesdays, it just aint enough!
Now how do I convince boyfriend that we really really need to get a pole for the living room.....?
...nah, just kidding. With my luck, I'd accidentally knock over his precious TV and have to flee the country. Without a job and a home, I'd have no choice but to actually get a job in a strip club where granted, my new skills would go a long way but I think I'll skip that and stick to keeping my new hobby in the gym.
3 comments:
I took a pole dancing class once for a bachelorette party...It was awesome; if it weren't for the atmosphere of that particular class, I totally would have signed up.
That being said, I have several friends who take classes regularly and their boyfriends/hubs all went out and bought the poles!
I would never make it. My wrists are too weak for the amount of fat I have allowed my hips and ass to accumulate over the last year.
But if I DID happen to start taking some pole dancing classes, I wouldn't even have to ask. The Manchild would go out and buy a pole to put downstairs IMMEDIATELY. And by that, I mean that by the time I got home from my first class, it would be installed.
I scrolled down and checked out a few of your older posts. I think you made the right choice by keeping them. It's like your own little journal to look back on, and for creepy people like me to stalk and comment on two or three years later.
Write what you want, when you feel like it. That's what I say, damn it! Well, I've never actually said that, but I have thought it, so it's still true.
I do LOVE that you made a New Year's Resolution in 2010 about becoming a better blogger, and then you only posted once in 2011 and it was about drinking. I laughed so hard I snorted.
When I stop procrastinating and finish the button I'm going to put on my page about being the Queen of Procrastination, I'm going to send it to you for that post.
Haha, his TV is way to precious for that! If we had a bigger place maybe but right now, there isn't enough space to put one up where I could freely swing my legs around without knocking into stuff.
Jen, haha, I hadn't even noticed I only posted once after that one, that is quite funny. And obviously about drinking, classy me indeed! You're absolutely right though, no need to post unless I want to. Right now, I'm in a blogging phase, mostly because I'm meant to be cramming for an exam but keep finding more interesting things to do. I think I may have to rival you about being the Queen of procrastination though...
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